You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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