i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
