oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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