I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
