we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
