did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
