After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
