I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
