Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
