woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
