My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
