singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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