why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
