Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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