I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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