Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
