Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Green mimosas i think yes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
