we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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