i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
