his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
