Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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