The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
