I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
did i just pee glitter
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize