good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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