I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
