I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so let's talk penis.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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