Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
