She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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