I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
