I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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