That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
