my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
