And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
