I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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