sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
third nipple confirmed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
