I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
