"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
