do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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