I wanna bring you to show and tell
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
