come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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