you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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