I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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