from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
