I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
