I got chris browned last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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