I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
