I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
