smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
