i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
