Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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