good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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