So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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